Are you broadcasting the energy of “No?”

The Law of AttractionWhen we want a loving relationship but regularly to say no to the aspects or qualities of a relationship that we don’t want, we continually broadcast the energy of no, thus, thwarting our intention of attracting a relationship. “How does this happen?” many people ask. “I am out dancing, meeting new people, on-line dating, even going out on some ghastly dates, but nothing, I mean nothing is happening!”

Here’s the thing – when the first word out of our mouths is no, whether we talking about going out with the son of your former next door neighbor (ok, maybe we say no to that), paying a little extra for something you really want or trying something new, the energy of “NO” is being broadcast from your being. You’ve heard the adage “Where your thoughts go, energy goes” well this applies to your words, because words are spells. They create our reality. The Law of Attraction works the way gravity does, whether you believe it or not.

Those struggling to find a relationship are usually so focused on what they don’t want that they continue to attract exactly that: what they don’t want. Being focused on what you don’t want and saying “no” continues this never-ending cycle. Here is how it goes….

A friend points out a great looking guy and your first response is, “Oh no, I’m not interested in a guy that height.” She points out another interesting guy and your response is “I really don’t want a guy with that build.” Which generally then leads to a conversation that includes the following-

“Every guy I go out with just doesn’t have the ability to hold an interesting conversation…

“She just doesn’t get me….

“He never understands how I feel…

“She’s always complaining that I work too much…

And so the conversation goes, highlighting all the things you don’t want. So you spend the next couple of hours broadcasting “NO” and the Universe says, “Your wish is my command” and either sends you nothing or more of what you are talking (and thinking) about. “NO” attracts no and “I don’t want” attracts exactly what you don’t want. With conversations like these you may as well put a bull horn to your mouth and yell – No!

How to end the madness????

Change the conversation. What do you want? Try spending time discussing the traits and qualities you are looking for. Talk about how it feels to have a great person in your life. When you were in a great relationship, what about that person made you so happy? As soon as you begin to broadcast the word “Yes” you then attract a relationship into your life. Say, “Yes that would be great” to the lady who tells you “You need a good man/woman,” instead of responding with, “All the good ones are taken.” When a, young, cute guy flirts with you walk away thinking, “that was so much fun” rather than “No, he’s too young.”

Where is your focus?

When you are out and about what are you noticing: the girl who is too young, the guy who is too thin? Do you zero in on the things you don’t want or the features that you do want? I noticed a great looking guy in the store the other day, built like crazy with a stunning smile and a booming laugh, all great traits that I find attractive. Rather than focusing on the fact that he was way too young or that I am so not interested in being mom to the four kids hanging from each of his limbs, I spent some time thinking about what I found attractive and thereby broadcasting, “yes Universe, here are a few of the features I am looking for.” Recently I danced with a lovely older gentleman who is a solid lead with lots of creative moves. When we finished dancing I thought, “That’s what I want. I guy who’s a fabulous dancer that I really enjoy dancing with.”

We’re not talking whole package here. Just focus on what you do want. Focus and zero in, using your attention like a laser pointer. A laser pointer doesn’t highlight all that’s on the screen, just the one item that needs to be seen. Use your attention; make it a laser pointer, zeroing in on the traits you want and only the traits you want. What quality does this woman/man have that I am looking for? Scanning a room or a crowd and noticing, “Wow, he walks with power and authority” or “Oh, she has a great smile” and “I love that person’s laugh.”

Energy goes where thought goes.

Where are your thoughts going? What are your words saying? Becoming very aware of your thoughts and words will let you know the kind of energy you are broadcasting.  Are they saying, “Yes, I want that?” Or “No, I can’t tolerate that?” It takes some time but self-awareness is the key to attracting the kind of relationship you want.

What are you broadcasting?